Life have been relatively good. I have nothing to complain about. Still enjoying my job. I love my job. It really brings light to my dark days.
A few days ago my Ex-For-Many-Reasons told me he was seeing someone new that is a "blessing" to his life and someone he may want to marry....I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me...what bothered me about it was:
1. I am currently still single with not even one prospect.
2. I spent MAD years with this guy and now he's perfect for some other chick
3. I'm mad that he found someone before I could.
Does this prove that i'm not quite ready for a relationship if I had these immature thoughts...?
Maybe....
I'm not particularly in a rush for a relationship but I miss having someone hold me and tell me im beautiful. I miss someone listening to my thoughts and beliefs. I miss daydreaming about a significant other. I miss simply making out and staring into their eyes. I miss making love...
I've vowed to myself to be celibate till I'm in a positively committed relationship with promises of marriage. I'm only 4 months in and it seems like a lifetime. My body misses the OMG of it all...you know...that moment when it feels like that magic stick was made to make fireworks go off everywhere in your body...when you have to ask yourself how you were able to live with out it....I love and miss hearing a man succumb to my womanly ways, him wading in my river and drinking from my stream....
Sometimes I plan and scheme in my head of how I can get me some from an old FWB but I stop myself. He can't fulfill any of my other needs except good....AMAZING dick (it really is amazing)...I want more though.
*sigh*..........Patients really is a hard thing to have acquired....
Hum Drum love Bum :(
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